10 Things You Must Give Up To Thrive After 40

One minute, you’re having a great time in your 30s, and then, boom! You hit 40, and it feels like everything has changed. You’ve got stories to tell, some grey hairs, and a lot of experience – all signs that you’ve lived a pretty good life. But the way you used to do things might not work as well for you now. Like a favorite t-shirt that’s too worn out to wear, it may just be time for a refresh. Time to look at what you’ve been doing and let go of what doesn’t help you anymore. So, are you ready to make some updates to how you tackle life? Are you ready to discover the “10 things you must give up to thrive after 40”? Let’s take the first steps to drop old habits and ways of thinking and ensure you stay happy, healthy, and doing great in your 40s and beyond.

Transforming Your 40s

Moving into this exciting new chapter means making smart choices on purpose. It’s about letting go of things that stress you out for no good reason, getting into healthy habits, and making sure what you do matches up with what you want now. Think about what you can let go of to make the road ahead smoother and open up space for new chances to grow as you get older.

Getting comfy with changes is key as you step into this lively phase. When you stop holding onto stuff that doesn’t help you anymore, you’ll find you have more energy and excitement for the things you love to do. Changing where you put your attention can give you a fresh sense of why you’re doing what you’re doing, pushing you forward into a time of growth and achievement. Get set to rethink what it means to really enjoy life after 40. This process of embracing change will liberate you, opening up new opportunities and experiences that you may have never considered before.

1. Letting Go of the Need for Approval

Stepping into your 40s, you might start to feel tired of trying to make everyone else happy. It’s time to start being your own biggest fan, and here’s how:

• Listen to Yourself: You’ve learned a lot and gone through plenty by now. Believe in what you feel and decide because you know yourself the best.
• Grow Your Confidence: You become stronger when you stop worrying about what others think. You’re just as important, even if someone doesn’t get how great you are. This process of growing your confidence is about self-approval, about recognizing your own worth and not relying on others to validate it. It’s about feeling secure in your skin and knowing you are enough, regardless of others’ opinions.
• Be the Boss of You: Your life and choices are in your hands. Don’t let other people’s thoughts steer your life or how you feel.

To get going, try doing these things:

1. Think back on stuff you’ve done well all by yourself.
2. When you’re about to make a choice, ask yourself, “Is this really for me, or am I trying to impress someone else?”
3. Give yourself a pat on the back for the things you do well, even the small stuff.

Needing others to tell you you’re doing okay doesn’t show how successful you are. Research suggests that becoming dependent on approval from others can be a risk factor in lowering self-esteem. It might be tough to stop looking for everyone’s thumbs up, but it’ll help you be true to yourself and find happiness from the inside. Here’s to making your 40s a fantastic adventure that’s all about what you want!

2. Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can really bring you down, especially when you’re in your 40s and thinking a lot about where you are in life. But turning those thoughts around to be more positive isn’t just about feeling good. It’s a real way to make this part of your life the best yet.

Notice What You’re Thinking: Start by paying attention to the negative things you say to yourself, like “I’m not good enough,” or “It’s too late for me to change.” Knowing what you’re dealing with is the first step to making it better.

Be Nicer to Yourself: Try to be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend. So, instead of thinking, “I always mess things up,” tell yourself, “I’m learning and it’s okay to make mistakes.” This helps you see challenges as chances to grow, not just as setbacks.

Say Positive Things to Yourself: Boost your confidence with positive statements, like:

• “I can handle whatever comes my way.”
• “I deserve to be happy and successful, no matter my age.” Keep saying these good things about yourself to slowly change how you think.

Get Help if You Need It: If changing how you talk to yourself is hard, talking to a therapist can really help. They can give you specific advice and ways to feel stronger inside.

Choose Positive Surroundings: Spend time with people and things that lift you up. Reading a book about beating negative thoughts, for example, could really help.

Working on getting rid of negative self-talk helps you not just get by but truly shine after 40, with better mental health and a more positive outlook on life.

3. Releasing the Fear of Change

Getting used to changes after 40 shows how much you’ve grown and how strong you are. It’s okay to be a bit scared of what you don’t know, but if you’re open to learning and see every challenge as a chance, you can make your path brighter.

Be brave when facing new things:

• See each change as an opportunity to learn something new.
• Tell yourself that to grow, you sometimes have to try things that are a little scary.

Build your strength by:

• Taking big changes one small step at a time.
• Remembering times you succeeded before and how you’ve managed to adjust.

When you start looking at changes this way, you begin to see them not as something to fear but as opportunities to do even better after 40. Change is always happening, and being able to roll with it is a superpower in making the life you want.

4. Quitting Procrastination

Putting things off can really get in the way of reaching your goals, especially when you’re over 40 and every minute is precious for building the life you dream of.

Midlife can bring many competing pressures. Research suggests that increased stress can create increased procrastination by depleting individuals’ coping resources and lowering their ability to deal with negative emotions.

To get things done, it’s essential to get good at managing your time to focus on what’s truly important.

• Make Clear Goals: Start with clear, reachable goals, not just big dreams. Break them into smaller steps so you don’t get overwhelmed, making it easier to see your progress.
• Choose What to Do First: Each day, figure out what’s most important. An excellent rule called the 80/20 rule says 20% of what you do gives you 80% of your results. Stick to the big-impact stuff to be more effective.
• Plan Your Day: Set up your day ahead of time, deciding when you’ll work and when you’ll take breaks. Having a plan keeps you moving smoothly and stops last-minute rushes.
• Don’t Wait for Perfect: Trying to make everything perfect can slow you down. Go for great instead, and remember that it’s okay to make mistakes – that’s how you learn.
• Find What Motivates You: Know what gets you going and use that to push through tasks you’re not excited about. Think about how good it feels to finish something and move closer to your big goals.

Procrastination isn’t just a bad habit; it can really block your success and growth. By tackling tasks head-on, you’re not just ticking boxes—you’re building a brighter and more successful life after 40.

5. Letting Go of Grudges and Past Hurts

To really feel good after 40, it often means you have to let go of the tough stuff from the past—like old grudges and things that hurt you. Hanging onto these bad feelings can stop you from being happy and moving on with your life.

Forgiveness has been linked to alleviating stress and negative emotions, leading to a more harmonious response for individuals (Yan et al., 2023).

When you decide to forgive, it doesn’t mean you’re saying what happened was okay. It means you’re choosing to stop letting those hard feelings weigh you down. You’re doing it for your own peace and happiness. Forgiving is like giving yourself a present—one that lets you live a happier life.

Here’s how you can start letting go:

• Acknowledge the hurt and how it’s impacted you.
• Find a healthy way to share your feelings, like writing, making art, or talking to someone you trust.
• Choose to forgive to help yourself grow, not for the person who hurt you.
• Decide to move forward and look for positive experiences and friendships.

Your happiness is definitely worth the work it takes to get past old problems. Letting go of these feelings can open up a brighter and healthier future where you do great in every part of your life.

6. Eliminating Toxic Relationships

When you’re moving through life after 40, it’s important to look at your friendships and relationships and make sure they’re good for you. Bad relationships can make you tired and stop you from growing. It’s key to keep around people who make you feel good and help you be your best.

• Look at Who You Hang Out With: Think about your friends and the people you spend time with. Which ones make you feel great, and which ones seem to always pull you down?
• Learn to Say No: It’s perfectly fine to turn down things that make you uncomfortable or go against what you believe in. Make sure to tell people what you need from them in a nice but clear way.
• Find and Keep Good Friends: Make an effort to be close to friends who cheer you on and get you. Having good friends is important for doing well at this stage of life.
• Think About Your Marriage: If you’re married, consider how you and your partner support each other. Talking openly about making sure you’re both happy is crucial.

Having good relationships isn’t just about staying away from the bad stuff. It’s also about being close to people who add something special to your life. You’re in charge of who you spend your time with. Choose to be around people who show the kind of person you want to be.

7. Abandoning Unrealistic Expectations

Hitting 40 is a big deal, and it’s a good time to think about what you really expect from yourself and life. You’ve probably felt a lot of pressure from the world and might have set some really high goals. It’s key to figure out if these goals are really helping you or if they’re just too much.

• Set Goals That Make Sense for You: Think about what’s really important to you these days.
• Be Proud of What You’ve Done: Remember all the great things you’ve achieved, but also understand that success looks different for everyone.

Maybe what you want from your job has changed, and that’s totally fine. It’s okay if “making it big” isn’t as important as having time for yourself and the people you care about.

• Choose Work That Makes You Happy: Think about what kind of work makes you feel good and go for that.

You get to decide what doing well means. Your 40s are a great time to:

1. Know the difference between pushing yourself in a good way and expecting too much.
2. Stop holding onto goals that don’t match what you want now.

By taking it easy on yourself with your goals, you make room for being happy and continuing to grow in your own way.

8. Giving Up the Myth of Perfection

Learning to be okay with not being perfect is a big deal for enjoying life after 40. It’s time to stop worrying about hitting every mark perfectly, especially those high standards the world seems to expect, and start focusing on getting better bit by bit in ways that really matter to you.

• Go for Getting Better, Not Being Perfect: Cheer for every effort you make because every little step helps you move forward.
• Enjoy the Ride: Celebrate every small win and the lessons you learn along the way.
• Love What Makes You Unique: Your quirks make you special and authentic to others.

Feeling happy often comes from being in relationships where people love and value the real you, not some perfect image. Understanding this can help you break free from trying to be perfect all the time and let you live more truly.

Life after 40 is all about the depth of your experiences, not how flawless they are. Letting go of the need to be perfect opens up a world where you can relax, enjoy, and celebrate a wonderfully imperfect life.

9. Giving Up the Habit of Living in the Past

Hanging on to what happened before, whether good or bad, is like trying to move forward while always looking back—you end up missing what’s right in front of you. Sure, it’s cool to think about the past but don’t let it stop you from enjoying today or planning for tomorrow.

To really get the most out of life after 40, here are some tips:

• Be Thankful for Today: Every morning, think of three things you’re thankful for right now. It helps switch your focus from old regrets to the good stuff happening today.
• Take Time to Meditate: Try to spend some time each day meditating. It’s a great way to pull yourself back to the present whenever you start dwelling on the past.
• Make Plans That Excite You: What fun thing have you always wanted to try? Maybe pick up a new hobby or plan a trip. Aim for goals that make you look forward to the future.

Living in the moment isn’t about forgetting your past. It’s about not letting it take over the great life you have now. Allow yourself to step into today and tomorrow with joy and a new view, making every day count.

10. Dismiss the Pressure to Stay Young Forever

Finally, as you work your through midlife it’s time to accept the ageing process and dismiss the pressure to stay young forever.

Society bombards us with messages that youth is king, leading many to chase after the fountain of youth as if aging were a game of tag we could somehow win. But here’s a little secret as we step into our 40s and beyond: aging isn’t the enemy. In fact, it’s a privilege not afforded to everyone.

Simple Steps to Age Gracefully After 40

Embracing the Silver Linings: Instead of dreading each birthday, what if we saw them as milestones of wisdom? Every year brings new lessons, deeper relationships, and the chance to know ourselves a little better. There’s a certain freedom in letting go of the person we were supposed to become and embracing the person we are.

The Beauty of Letting Go: The pressure to stay eternally young can feel like carrying a heavy backpack on a long hike. Dropping that weight means we can breathe easier, appreciate the view, and maybe even enjoy the journey a bit more. It’s about celebrating our experiences, our laugh lines, and the stories they tell.

Opportunities Await: With age comes a perspective that can only be earned through time. Our 40s and beyond can be some of the most vibrant years of our lives, filled with opportunities to pursue passions that we may have put on hold for careers or family. It’s a chance to redefine success on our own terms, without the constraints of societal expectations.

A Graceful Dance: Aging gracefully isn’t about giving up or letting go of caring about ourselves; it’s the opposite. It’s about taking care of our bodies and our minds with kindness and respect. It’s honoring our journey by living fully at every stage, not just in spite of aging, but because of it.

So, let’s dismiss the pressure to stay young forever and instead, celebrate the richness that each passing year brings. Here’s to thriving in our authenticity, wisdom, and joy, proving that life, indeed, gets richer with time.